Wholly Me Wednesday: Week Two
It wasn’t until this evening that I realized with today being Wednesday it meant blog day. I contemplated whether or not I would sit down to write and pondered a handful of reasons why it didn’t matter. Although I publish my blog posts on my website and share them on social media…I don’t write for others…I write for me. My blogging is an opportunity to sit with me, to reflect on all that’s going on within and around me, and it’s opportunity to get real real with me…
I’ve been reflecting on the amount of times I wrote “trying” in last week’s blog. I almost went back and reread week one’s blog post to count but then realized the actual # doesn’t matter…it’s the awareness of the energy I was in that matters. When I get in a space of “trying” I am wholly and fully out of alignment. I enter into control mode where I disconnect from DUGS (Divine, Universe, God, Source) and aggressively take the wheel. My word for the year is “Surrender” and I chose this word with and on purpose as I know me and want to intentionally do something different to get something different. I get to surrender, I get to let go, I get to chill, I get to breathe, I get to trust…I don’t have to figure it out, I don’t have to forcefully try, I don’t have to make it happen, I don’t have to make it make sense…now “knowing” I don’t have to and leaning into I don’t have to are two totally different things which is again why I chose to share space with and begin to build relationship with the practice of surrendering.
This week has been a really hard week for me emotionally and mentally. I received some information last Saturday during my Husband and I’s date night that carried into more information on Sunday that left me hurt, sad, and extremely anxious. Anxiety grounds me into my head space and the harder I “try” to get out of there the further I sink. How the f do I get out of my head space if I don’t “try” to do something to get out. My experience has shown me that I have to stay there, I have to be with it…all of it…the fullness and depth of it all… I can’t run from it, I can’t “try” to escape it, I can’t do something to make it stop. I don’t like staying in it…I don’t enjoy being with it…but again my experience has shown me it’s the only way out. So now I am ebbing and flowing between holding space for the discomfort of staying/being with it and coming up for air by trying…as I have learned my willingness to share space with my hurt, sadness, and anxiousness allows me to organically move through it with time. On a positive note, this heaviness has sparked my writing. I’ve written 3 pieces since Monday…Inspired, Remembrance, and Transactional. My writing is part of my healing and I can feel something deep within beginning to rise…
I’m super grateful to have been given something to respond to within my business! I partnered with a local women’s recovery shelter and get to facilitate weekly Sister*Circles every Tuesday during the month of July, I have a Human Design Discovery Call on Friday with a new client to discuss creating a tailored plan of diving into their Divine Design, and on Saturday I have a Gene Keys session with a woman near and dear to my heart. This is the work that lights my fire…
Feeling like this is where we end tonight’s blog…my head is telling me I should write more as I haven’t touched on all the areas that make me wholly me but I want to honor what I feel and that’s closing out Week Two here.
Until next time…
